Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Fight Against Breast Cancer.....

Breast Cancer
The Phrase fighting breast cancer just scares me to think about it, and what it really means. And this last week has been a all time high and low of my life. There has not been anyone in my family, up until recently that has been diagnosis with breast cancer. Though i have known people with it. You always hear the story of women who survive and then the ones that don't. Up until this last couple of weeks breast cancer has been out of sight and out of mind.
Our family has had it's ups and down since June has started and I'm ready for it to end... I remember the phone call from my mother saying her mammogram showed some spots, but she was sure she must have worn deodorant to her exam. so she will go back again in a week and do it over and get a sonogram. Then the second phone call saying that she needed a biopsy, but again was sure that nothing was wrong. The always say a third times a charm. But the third phone call regarding this issue about my mother was far from charming. I remember being on the phone with my girlfriend Amanda. My mother called my cell twice, then the house, then finally texts me. Not thinking something was wrong, i told Amanda that i needed to go. My mother just came out and told me. It was cancer.... I have breast cancer....
I had so many question, and i could get none of them out. Crying was the only thing my body would let me do.....for the next several hours, i talked to my mom, my husband, and cried in bed with my son, who has no idea what is going on in the world around him. "except that his mother is crying crazy and he doesn't understand"
For the next couple days i laid low and just cried.... My husband doesn't know what to do or say to me during those days. And then finally says Crystal your mom and son both need you to be the strong person you are..... I'm thinking who said i was strong... All i could think of was the bad, I'm thinking if i think the worst then in the end it will be easier for me. We all except our parents to die before us, but my mom will only be 51 on the 1st of July. my son has only began to know the great and loving person that she is....Besides bring a child into world, this will be the next life changing event for me and my family. My mother is not only my mother but she is my best friend, and someone who know everything about me....
We are very lucky that they caught this in the first stages, and that it should be treatable. But as you know cancer is one of those things you just never know about. This next week she has a MRI and then an appointment with the cancer center. So i my head I'm thinking no need to worry until we go to these appointments. "A glass or 2 of wine always helps in keeping your brain free and clear..
I have been reading inspiring stories of women who have been cancer free for 25 plus years. and i have also read stories of women who did not survive even 6months. So i know being strong for my mother and my family are on the top of importance list.
I guess I'm scared to for myself, what does this say about my life, and what is in store for me. I have an appointment with my OB-GYN on Tuesday, i will see what i need to do now that my mother has been diagnosed. I kept googling breast cancer and implants... and hoping for the best. Worst case scenario they take my boobs and put my implants back in. RIGHT... laughter is what is keeping me going...
I think my new mission for the summer is to help education myself and my family on my mothers health and my own. And to be there holding her hand ever step of the way. Life is not over as i was thinking a couple of days ago, but is still unfolding... more to come after appointments in July....
I hope that our journey into Breast Cancer will end with a happy story. Im saying my prayers and hope that everyone that reads this will too.
I love the song "Somebody's Hero" by Jaime O'neal
i think this will be my song of the summer. I will dedicated it to my mother. and this song reminds me of her, and all mothers out there..
These are sites i have been reading up on
RE: the picture at the top of the blog is of my mother and son last summer in NM.. i love that they both look so happy.

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