Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Fight Against Breast Cancer.....

Breast Cancer
The Phrase fighting breast cancer just scares me to think about it, and what it really means. And this last week has been a all time high and low of my life. There has not been anyone in my family, up until recently that has been diagnosis with breast cancer. Though i have known people with it. You always hear the story of women who survive and then the ones that don't. Up until this last couple of weeks breast cancer has been out of sight and out of mind.
Our family has had it's ups and down since June has started and I'm ready for it to end... I remember the phone call from my mother saying her mammogram showed some spots, but she was sure she must have worn deodorant to her exam. so she will go back again in a week and do it over and get a sonogram. Then the second phone call saying that she needed a biopsy, but again was sure that nothing was wrong. The always say a third times a charm. But the third phone call regarding this issue about my mother was far from charming. I remember being on the phone with my girlfriend Amanda. My mother called my cell twice, then the house, then finally texts me. Not thinking something was wrong, i told Amanda that i needed to go. My mother just came out and told me. It was cancer.... I have breast cancer....
I had so many question, and i could get none of them out. Crying was the only thing my body would let me do.....for the next several hours, i talked to my mom, my husband, and cried in bed with my son, who has no idea what is going on in the world around him. "except that his mother is crying crazy and he doesn't understand"
For the next couple days i laid low and just cried.... My husband doesn't know what to do or say to me during those days. And then finally says Crystal your mom and son both need you to be the strong person you are..... I'm thinking who said i was strong... All i could think of was the bad, I'm thinking if i think the worst then in the end it will be easier for me. We all except our parents to die before us, but my mom will only be 51 on the 1st of July. my son has only began to know the great and loving person that she is....Besides bring a child into world, this will be the next life changing event for me and my family. My mother is not only my mother but she is my best friend, and someone who know everything about me....
We are very lucky that they caught this in the first stages, and that it should be treatable. But as you know cancer is one of those things you just never know about. This next week she has a MRI and then an appointment with the cancer center. So i my head I'm thinking no need to worry until we go to these appointments. "A glass or 2 of wine always helps in keeping your brain free and clear..
I have been reading inspiring stories of women who have been cancer free for 25 plus years. and i have also read stories of women who did not survive even 6months. So i know being strong for my mother and my family are on the top of importance list.
I guess I'm scared to for myself, what does this say about my life, and what is in store for me. I have an appointment with my OB-GYN on Tuesday, i will see what i need to do now that my mother has been diagnosed. I kept googling breast cancer and implants... and hoping for the best. Worst case scenario they take my boobs and put my implants back in. RIGHT... laughter is what is keeping me going...
I think my new mission for the summer is to help education myself and my family on my mothers health and my own. And to be there holding her hand ever step of the way. Life is not over as i was thinking a couple of days ago, but is still unfolding... more to come after appointments in July....
I hope that our journey into Breast Cancer will end with a happy story. Im saying my prayers and hope that everyone that reads this will too.
I love the song "Somebody's Hero" by Jaime O'neal
i think this will be my song of the summer. I will dedicated it to my mother. and this song reminds me of her, and all mothers out there..
These are sites i have been reading up on
RE: the picture at the top of the blog is of my mother and son last summer in NM.. i love that they both look so happy.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


So last night a friend ask me "Why do people think they deserve things"
My initial response was Happiness. Yes i do believe everyone in life deserves to be happy, and being happy means something completely different to every single person. I mean we are here on earth right, and we should be happy, no matter what our background is or our family life, or our current situation. We all deserve the right to be happy.. (in my opinion) I'm not quiet sure that she bought that people DESERVE to be happy, Why do they deserve it..... I know that we were in a drunken rage, and I'm sure i kept repeating my self over and over, I do that sometimes you know.... I told her i would look up the word deserve and see what it really means.
deserve definition
de·serve (di zʉrv′)
transitive verb deserved -·served′, deservingserv′·ing
to have a right to because of acts or qualities; be worthy of (reward, punishment, etc.); merit
deserve Synonyms
merit, be worthy of, earn, be deserving, earn as due compensation, lay claim to, have the right to, be given one's due, be entitled to, warrant, justify, rate*, have it coming*.

So back to my ramble... Of course we all deserve that happiness that we all seek.. Happiness means different things, whether it is money or having a roof over your head and food to eat. and yes you do deserve that feeling... Unhappiness does not solve any problems, and I'm not sure what people should tell them selves so they know this.. I think people struggle everyday to find happiness, and to find what happiness really means to them. I think we create our own happiness, and to be happy we must first realize that true and meaningful happiness comes from within our own self.

To be happy you have to believe in your self, to over look our past and things that we have done, that have maybe made us unhappy. I think when you doubt yourself and let these past things take over, you will never find that happiness. Allow the simple things that are in your present life overwhelm the things that are not here... Just believe in yourself and you will be happy.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Miracle Mile of Quarters Run

KIWANIS DIVISION 5 - 4th ANNUAL Miracle Mile of Quarter's Run
On June 13th Alyson and I run in the Miracle Mile of Quarter's Run at the Central Hospital in Madera. All proceeds went to the Children Hospital of Central Valley That morning i was telling Alyson that 2miles should be pretty easy for us. Aly replies with. 2miles. We are running 4miles. Im guess this is why her facebook profile, said she was preparing for her run. All i could think of was how in the hell i was going to run and complete 4 miles. But there i was registering and getting my number. But all in all it was not that bad, with the times me and Aly got, she is right we should not have been running the 2miles. One of us would have walked away with a huge ass trophy I'm guess it would have been Aly since she bet me anyhow. But we are both happy to come away with plaque for 1st and 2nd place in our division. And just for the record. Alyson was the second overall girl to come in and i was the third. That little Asian chick, bet us the last time we raced in the Reef Run in April. But I'm happy to report that i pushed myself to do the four miles, even though i was not prepared. In the end my legs are sore and I'm still alive...

Me after receiving my plague for 2nd place in my division with a time of 32:35

Aly after receiving 1st place in your division

Monday, June 1, 2009

Water Park!!!!

Since we live so close to Fresno, and there is a water park less than 15miles from our home, me and chris got a season pass so we could enjoy the park all summer long. Our first trip was during Mothers Day Weekend, then Memorial Day, and also just this last weekend. During our first trip Christopher was not crazy about the water. He just wanted to play near the edge, and i only got him to go down 1 slide with me. During our next trip he went down the water slides with Me, Grandma Lynn, and even Grandpa Mark, and then passed out at 130pm and slept for 2 hrs. This last weekend i met up with my GF Lindsay and her family. I will have to say this was Christopher favorite trip to the waterpark, he didnot want to leave and we didnot get hom Maybe cause he had 3 little boys to play along with. This time i took him down a couple of the big slides, and by the end of the day he was riding on the kiddie slides alone. tell me to go away. LOL to funny. Well we will have many more trips this summer, i hope he will keep enjoying himself....
Christopher Going Down waterslide at the end of our day...
Christopher and the boys playing
Christopher and Gavin playing while the rest of the family went down some slides
Christopher and Grandpa Mark napping

Christopher and Grandma Lynn enjoying the water slides

Christopher 1st trip during Mother's Day weekend